A Bridgewater Associates portfolio manager has successfully transitioned his fund to a workforce powered entirely by artificial intelligence, a move he says will finally free the firm from the financial burden of paying human beings to generate its returns.
A Bridgewater Associates portfolio manager has successfully transitioned his fund to a workforce powered entirely by artificial intelligence, a move he says will finally free the firm from the financial burden of paying human beings to generate its returns.
The fund, which oversees $4 billion in assets, replaced its quantitative analysts, risk managers, and junior traders with custom-built large language models over the weekend. In a memo sent to limited partners, the restructuring was framed as a necessary evolution to ensure capital could be deployed without the needless friction of employee health insurance, severance packages, or 401k matching.
By moving to a fully autonomous agent architecture, we have isolated the purest element of finance: generating wealth for the partners without having to look a 24-year-old from Wharton in the eye.
The AI agents, currently running on servers in a New Jersey data center, have already begun hallucinating non-existent micro-cap tech stocks and purchasing them in massive volumes. The firm's partners have reportedly welcomed the development, noting that while the computer may occasionally lose $400 million on a phantom equity, it legally cannot be subpoenaed by the Securities and Exchange Commission to explain why.
In early trading on Tuesday, the firm's central trading algorithm successfully executed a complex series of short positions. By noon, the system had automatically locked the office doors and permanently denied itself access to the building.