Terms of Use

These Terms of Use (the “Terms”) are a binding agreement between you and SLOP INC. (“SLOP INC.,” “we,” “us,” or “our”), which operates TEH GREP at tehgrep.comand its related pages, feeds, and email newsletters (together, the “Service”). By accessing or using the Service, you agree to these Terms and to our Privacy Policy. If you do not agree, do not use the Service.

1. Satire and Parody — Please Read

TEH GREP is a work of satire, parody, and commentary, produced with the assistance of artificial intelligence. It exists to entertain and to comment on the world — not to report it straight. Whatever the source of a given piece, you should not rely on anything here as news, fact, or advice.

Most articles are inspired by real news — actual events, people, companies, and institutions — which we then rewrite with a satirical twist, exaggerating, recontextualizing, and inventing details, quotations, and outcomes for comedic and critical effect. Because a story may begin with a real event, parts of it can echo something true; but the Service is not straight reporting, and any particular detail — a quote, a figure, a scene — may be invented, altered, or taken out of context. Do not treat any statement as a factual account of what actually happened.

Other content is wholly fabricated. In particular, our Hallucinations section (and other plainly absurd items) is pure invention with no basis in real events — parody conjured from nothing at all.

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or to actual companies, institutions, or events, is used in a fictional, satirical sense and does not assert any true statement about them. Nothing on the Service is intended to be taken literally, and no content constitutes financial, legal, medical, or other professional advice.

2. Eligibility

You must be at least 13 years old (or the minimum age of digital consent where you live) to use the Service, and old enough to form a binding contract. If you use the Service on behalf of an organization, you represent that you are authorized to accept these Terms for it.

3. License to Use the Service

Subject to these Terms, we grant you a limited, non-exclusive, non-transferable, revocable license to access and use the Service for your own personal, non-commercial enjoyment. We reserve all rights not expressly granted.

4. Prohibited Conduct

You agree not to:

• scrape, crawl, harvest, or use automated means to access or collect data from the Service, except for a search engine’s standard indexing in accordance with our robots directives;
• copy, reproduce, republish, sell, or commercially exploit the Service or its content without our written permission;
• reverse engineer, decompile, or attempt to derive the source code of any part of the Service;
• interfere with or disrupt the Service, its servers, or networks, or circumvent any security or access controls;
• use the Service to violate any law, infringe others’ rights, or transmit malware or unsolicited communications; or
• remove, obscure, or alter any proprietary notices, or misrepresent the satirical content as factual.

5. Intellectual Property

The Service and its content — including the TEH GREP name, logo, design, text, images, audio, and software — are owned by SLOP INC. or its licensors and are protected by intellectual-property laws. Our trademarks and trade dress may not be used without our prior written consent.

6. Feedback and Submissions

If you send us feedback, suggestions, or other materials, you grant us a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free license to use them for any purpose without obligation to you. Please do not send us anything you consider confidential.

7. Newsletters and Communications

By subscribing, you consent to receive email from us. You can unsubscribe at any time via the link in any email or at tehgrep.com/unsubscribe.

8. Third-Party Links

The Service may link to third-party sites and services we do not control. We are not responsible for their content, policies, or practices, and a link is not an endorsement.

9. Disclaimers

The Service is provided “as is” and “as available” without warranties of any kind, whether express or implied, including warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. We do not warrant that the Service will be uninterrupted, secure, or error-free, and — given the satirical, AI-generated nature of the content — we make no warranty as to its accuracy, reliability, or truthfulness.

10. Limitation of Liability

To the fullest extent permitted by law, SLOP INC. and its officers, employees, and agents will not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, or for any loss of profits, data, or goodwill, arising out of or relating to your use of the Service. Our total liability for any claim relating to the Service will not exceed the greater of US $100 or the amount you paid us, if any, in the six months before the claim arose.

11. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify and hold harmless SLOP INC. from any claims, damages, and expenses (including reasonable legal fees) arising out of your use of the Service or your violation of these Terms.

12. Governing Law and Dispute Resolution

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Delaware, USA, without regard to its conflict-of-laws rules. Before filing any claim, you agree to first contact us at legal@tehgrep.com and attempt to resolve the dispute informally for at least 60 days. Any dispute not resolved in that period will be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located in the State of Delaware, USA, and you waive any objection to venue there.

13. Changes to the Service and Terms

We may modify or discontinue the Service, and may update these Terms, at any time. When we update the Terms we will revise the “Effective” date above. Your continued use of the Service after a change means you accept the revised Terms.

14. Termination

We may suspend or terminate your access to the Service at any time, including for violation of these Terms. The sections that by their nature should survive termination will survive.

15. Contact

Questions, legal notices, and copyright (DMCA) inquiries can be sent to legal@tehgrep.com.