Citing inflation metrics that remain stubbornly tied to reality, Goldman Sachs announced Tuesday it has officially pushed back the timeline for the interest rate cuts that exist solely in the bank's forecasting models.
Citing inflation metrics that remain stubbornly tied to reality, Goldman Sachs announced Tuesday it has officially pushed back the timeline for the federal interest rate cuts that exist solely in the bank's forecasting models to late 2026.
The Wall Street giant informed clients that the highly anticipated dovish pivot from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell—which Goldman analysts have been vividly hallucinating every quarter since early 2023—will now require an additional 18 months of make-believe before it inevitably fails to materialize again.
In a morning research note, Goldman's macroeconomic team clarified that the bank remains deeply committed to inventing new dates for monetary easing out of thin air, but noted that sticky core inflation metrics have forced a temporary delay to the fantasy.
We recognize that our institutional clients have built highly leveraged positions around these imaginary rate cuts, which is why it is so important that we provide a rigorous, data-driven timeline for when they won't happen next.
The revised forecast prompted a sigh of relief across equity markets. Asset managers who have been completely wrong about the trajectory of the U.S. economy for 30 consecutive months immediately began plugging the new, fictitious December 2026 date into their discounted cash flow models, allowing trading desks to continue ignoring current lending rates.
At press time, Goldman analysts were reportedly already drafting a follow-up note to explain why the December 2026 rate cuts will actually need to be pushed to March 2028.