Wall Street prices in Trump's promise to personally steer stranded oil tankers through Hormuz

We modeled for a variety of supply chain disruptions, and the incoming president navigating a supertanker through active artillery fire actually lowers our freight insurance premiums.

Energy sector stocks saw a modest bump after the transition team confirmed Trump would begin his maritime duties immediately upon inauguration, operating the ship's wheel while simultaneously conducting tariff negotiations on a satellite phone.

Traders largely dismissed concerns about international maritime law, noting that global supply chains have already priced in the occasional loss of a commander-in-chief at sea. Chevron representatives confirmed they have already begun clearing space in the captain's quarters of their largest crude carriers to accommodate the executive branch.