Seeking to stabilize its commercial footprint following a protracted restructuring, WeWork has announced a new tier of flexible desk space located in the unmapped, geometry-defying expanse between standard building floors. The co-working company pitched the liminal void as a distraction-free environment for enterprise clients seeking absolute isolation from the linear flow of time.
Seeking to stabilize its commercial footprint following a protracted restructuring, WeWork announced Tuesday it has secured master leases on the geometry-defying expanses located immediately between the 13th and 14th floors of its flagship properties. The co-working company is currently marketing the unmapped, lightless abyss to enterprise clients as a premium tier for high-focus deep work.
Accessing the void requires tenants to press an unlabeled brass button in the freight elevator and step sideways through a service door that only exists in peripheral vision. Once inside, remote workers are provided with a Herman Miller ergonomic chair, high-speed internet, and a private workstation that appears to fold inward upon itself in shapes completely foreign to human understanding.
By eliminating traditional overhead constraints like structural load limits, HVAC maintenance, and linear time, we are finally passing unprecedented spatial value directly to our enterprise partners.
Analysts at Morgan Stanley issued a note broadly praising the strategy, projecting that WeWork's shift away from three-dimensional commercial real estate could reduce operating expenses by as much as forty percent. However, the bank warned that the lack of breathable oxygen and the frequent, sudden inversions of gravity could complicate the company's trademark communal kombucha service.
SoftBank is reportedly leading a fresh funding round to expand the void tier globally. Early beta testers at the Manhattan location have logged a massive surge in coding productivity, though several startup founders noted their engineers have yet to find the exit and have been communicating solely through rhythmic thumping on the drywall of the floor below.