Dismissing a recent poll showing only 32% of Americans approve of his handling of the economy, President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the financial system is working flawlessly for the 57 members of his administration currently worth over $100 million.
The unprecedented concentration of wealth, which quadruples the combined net worth of the last three presidential cabinets, was presented to reporters as a stabilizing macroeconomic indicator. Administration officials noted that while everyday consumers might be facing localized headwinds with rent and groceries, the executive branch's internal balance sheet has completely decoupled from middle-class volatility.
When you look at the underlying fundamentals of the people currently standing in the West Wing, the growth is staggering," said Carter Hayes, Deputy Secretary of Wealth Preservation at the Treasury Department. "The public is overly focused on their own purchasing power, which is a distraction from the historic value we are creating for the 57 individuals who actually dictate federal tax policy.
Financial disclosures show the administration’s core economic strategy relies heavily on cutting out the middleman and directly depositing the nation's regulatory authority into the hands of the people who own the industries being regulated. The White House suggested that the 32% economic approval rating is not a failure, but simply an accurate reflection of the percentage of the country that currently holds a controlling stake in a private equity firm.
Trading closed higher on the news, as the administration confirmed it would address any lingering working-class anxieties by quietly nominating a 58th billionaire to oversee the Department of Labor.