In a devastating blow to the newly rebooted DC cinematic universe, co-head James Gunn confirmed Thursday that the studio was outmaneuvered by CBS in a high-stakes bidding war over coveted leading man Rick Devens.
The $300 million *Superman* reboot was reportedly built around Devens, whose proven ability to whisper alliances while eating oatmeal on a 24-hour live feed made him the linchpin of Gunn’s “Gods and Monsters” Phase One rollout. Sources close to the production say Warner Bros. Discovery executives spent weeks trying to lock down the reality contestant for a crucial cameo, only to find themselves completely outgunned by the network’s aggressive offer of shared bathroom facilities and a chance to win $750,000.
Industry insiders note that a traditional theatrical tentpole simply cannot offer the exposure of being locked inside a soundstage with fifteen aspiring fitness influencers. While Warner Bros. attempted to counter-offer with a multi-picture overall deal, Devens ultimately chose the prestige of competing in backyard carnival games while wearing a unitard.
When a client has the opportunity to sit on a pleather couch and vote to evict a 22-year-old on live television, a blockbuster superhero franchise just can't compete.
The bitter industry rivalry spilled into the open during Thursday’s live broadcast, when Devens used his eviction vote to casually name-drop the DC chief. Tracking analysts noted the live shoutout was a clear flex from CBS, sending a message to Burbank that the eye network retains absolute first-look rights on any man willing to wear a microphone pack in a hot tub.
At press time, a panicked Gunn was reportedly scouring recent episodes of *FBoy Island* in a desperate bid to cast the new Batman.