The hi-vis orange craft will travel 22,000 kilometers through the inhospitable Southern Ocean. The mission aims to provide researchers with the exact parts-per-million figures the oil major accurately predicted during the Carter administration.
The uncrewed surface vehicle, powered entirely by wind and solar energy, departed this week on a treacherous months-long lap around Antarctica. Researchers at the Australian Antarctic Division hope the vessel’s array of sophisticated sensors will help them better understand how the ocean absorbs greenhouse gases, yielding high-fidelity atmospheric data that is expected to perfectly match a proprietary Exxon memo detailing the inevitable warming of the globe.
Braving 50-knot westerly winds and towering swells, the "robust little" craft will transmit real-time telemetry back to laboratories in Hobart. The measurements will then be compiled into a peer-reviewed climate addendum, which TotalEnergies and BP are scheduled to officially disregard during their Q3 earnings calls while announcing record shareholder dividends and newly finalized deepwater lease sales.
We are incredibly proud of this little kayak's ability to survive the most punishing maritime environment on earth just to verify the internal projections of a corporate spreadsheet from four decades ago.
The uncrewed vehicle’s deployment comes as global regulators continue to demand more precise scientific modeling before committing to a firm emissions timeline. Once the vessel completes its 22,000-kilometer journey, its findings on ocean acidification will be presented at COP29 in Baku, where delegates will use the data to draft a non-binding resolution to deploy a slightly larger, yellow kayak by 2035.
At next week's reporting deadline, the solar-powered craft is projected to be navigating a remote stretch of the Drake Passage, where it will collect crucial surface temperature readings while bobbing quietly in the wake of a 300-meter liquefied natural gas tanker burning heavy bunker fuel on its way to Rotterdam.