Beyoncé is returning to the Met Gala after a decade of purposeful absence. You, meanwhile, RSVP to every tedious dinner party, diluting your personal brand into nothingness.
You may have noticed a subtle realignment in how we treat the RSVP. As Beyoncé prepares to co-chair the Met Gala after a ten-year hiatus from the event, consider for a moment your own social strategy. While she spent a decade cultivating an aura of inaccessible prestige, you have dutifully attended every weekday birthday gathering and poorly lit holiday party. By remaining constantly available to your peers, you have made the fatal error of becoming fundamentally common.
Take Sarah, 31, of Chicago, who recently realized she was giving away her presence for free at gatherings centered around room-temperature spinach dip. She decided to emulate this model of extreme scarcity, hoping to reemerge someday with adequate fanfare. Industry professionals agree that your relentless attendance is quietly ruining you.
We advise our elite clients to withhold their physical form for no less than a decade if they want to be greeted with religious fervor rather than a polite nod.
You must stop allowing yourself to be perceived in casual lighting. Light a luxury candle, decline the digital calendar invite, and wait quietly in your living room until 2035.