Following an exhaustive, dawn-to-dusk landscaping operation, a local homeowner successfully concluded an 11-hour weekend initiative Saturday by shifting a single mound of topsoil approximately 36 inches.
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Following an exhaustive, dawn-to-dusk landscaping operation, area homeowner Greg Furlong successfully concluded an 11-hour weekend initiative Saturday by relocating a single mound of topsoil approximately 36 inches to the east.
Witnesses confirmed that Furlong, 44, initiated the project at 7:15 a.m. by backing his SUV out of the driveway to clear a staging area, before spending the next several hours transferring the 40-pound pile of dirt into a rusted wheelbarrow one spadeful at a time. Despite the destination being well within the shovel's natural throwing arc, Furlong reportedly utilized the wheeled transport for every load, meticulously navigating the two-step journey across his side lawn.
The operation required a delicate balance of brief, 90-second bursts of light shoveling, followed by extended 40-minute periods of standing perfectly still with both hands resting securely on the hips.
By early afternoon, neighbors reported seeing Furlong lean his weight heavily onto his shovel handle while exhaling loudly and wiping his brow with a soiled leather work glove. Records indicate he paused operations only twice: once to slowly drink a lukewarm Gatorade in the open garage, and a second time to visit a nearby Home Depot for a pack of heavy-duty lawn bags that remained unopened in the passenger seat of his vehicle.
The relocated mound, which now sits slightly closer to a sprinkler head but is otherwise functionally identical to its previous configuration, was ultimately covered with a blue plastic tarp and secured with a single brick. At press time, Furlong had collapsed into his living room recliner, informing his wife that the family would need to order delivery for dinner because his lower back was completely shot.