The Chicago Public Library announced Tuesday the installation of a specialized, airtight drop box specifically for returning materials saturated in the smell of stale indoor tobacco.
The reinforced steel chute, equipped with industrial-grade activated carbon filters, is designed to safely isolate yellowed, vaguely damp copies of popular fiction that would otherwise contaminate the branch's general circulation. Officials noted the new receptacle will be emptied twice daily by staff members wearing heavy-duty nitrile gloves and holding their breath.
According to internal memos, the initiative was launched after a single copy of a 1998 Tom Clancy paperback was returned through the standard indoor slot, causing an entire return cart of pristine children's board books to permanently smell like a Reno casino at four in the morning.
Once a compromised thriller makes contact with the main sorting room, the entire mystery section is lost within hours.
The library confirmed that once retrieved, the nicotine-steeped volumes are sealed in heavy plastic and placed in an industrial ozone chamber for a 72-hour decontamination cycle. At press time, branch managers were reportedly petitioning the city for an additional grant to construct a secondary, lead-lined chute exclusively for DVDs returned with unidentifiable sticky residues.