The visionary hospitality executive who normalized lukewarm pizza in windowless children's casinos succumbed Tuesday to an entirely avoidable accident in an Irving ball pit.
Charles Entertainment Cheese, 47, the pioneering executive who normalized the consumption of lukewarm pizza in windowless casinos for children, died Tuesday in a completely preventable ball pit tragedy at an Irving franchise. Born a cigar-smoking rat before undergoing a cosmetic rebrand into an athletic mouse, Cheese revolutionized the arcade economy. He is widely credited with establishing the 400-to-1 exchange rate between paper tickets and plastic spider rings, a closed currency loop that sustained the American suburbs through multiple recessions.
He wasn't a perfect mascot, and his plush fur always smelled faintly of dried soda, but he never judged a parent for drinking cheap draft beer at 11 a.m. on a Saturday.
Cheese is survived by his partner Helen Henny, three estranged cousins from ShowBiz Pizza Place, and millions of unredeemed prize points. In lieu of flowers, the family requests two tokens be inserted into his casket to keep the service from powering down.