A local man cast as the male lead in a regional production of The Crucible spent his 15-minute wait at a Chase Bank branch executing a series of aggressive, full-volume vocal warmups. Witnesses reported the 42-year-old completely ignored the visible discomfort of fellow patrons as he modulated through several octaves of tongue twisters.
The incident began shortly after 10 a.m. when the actor, identified by an NPR tote bag and a thick vocal-rest scarf, entered the queuing area and immediately began vibrating his lips in a sustained, high-pitch trill. Security footage showed the man placing both hands firmly on his floating ribs to manually expand his diaphragm before launching into a rapid-fire recitation of "red leather, yellow leather" that easily carried across the vaulted lobby. Several commercial clients reportedly abandoned their places in the teller line and retreated to the vestibule as the man began violently massaging his own jaw hinges, stretching his tongue fully toward his chin, and emitting a series of low, guttural sirens.
I initially reached for the silent alarm when he began doing deep physical lunges toward the velvet ropes, but then he started projecting the phrase ‘unique New York’ at a volume I can only describe as confrontational.
Tellers reported that the rigorous vocal conditioning continued uninterrupted even as the man was called to the next available window. When asked for his debit card, the actor reportedly adopted an unnatural, wide-stanced posture and utilized classical theatrical projection to announce his transaction needs to the entire financial institution. Employees noted that throughout the exchange—which consisted entirely of cashing a $45 reimbursement check for spirit gum and a prop hat—the man maintained intense, unblinking eye contact with the teller, occasionally pausing mid-sentence to hum vigorously from his chest cavity in order to find his center pitch.
Upon completing the deposit, the man reportedly executed a crisp pivot on his heel and strode purposefully out the double doors. At press time, he was observed doing a brisk physical shake-out in the parking lot before aggressively articulating his order at the adjacent Panera Bread.