Three local commuters were trapped in a 2018 Honda CR-V on Tuesday morning as their coworker delivered a real-time, detail-rich recounting of a dream in which he organized his household mail. The captive audience was completely unable to escape the vehicle as the driver painstakingly outlined the subtle differences between the dream envelopes and his actual envelopes.
The incident began at approximately 7:15 a.m. when 34-year-old logistics manager Greg Hemlock merged onto Interstate 35 and casually mentioned he had experienced the "craziest sleep." Passengers reportedly stared straight ahead as Hemlock launched into a sprawling, non-linear narrative centered entirely on his attempts to categorize various pieces of junk mail by size on a dining room table that he noted was slightly darker than his real table.
As traffic slowed to a crawl near the downtown exit, survivors noted that Hemlock doubled back several times to correct minor continuity errors regarding a spectral Valpak coupon booklet. Despite multiple attempts from the backseat to pivot the conversation to the weather or a recent sporting event, Hemlock simply raised his voice to ensure the car understood that the return addresses on the dream letters were printed in a font he didn't quite recognize.
When a narrator introduces a dream sequence involving utility bills while traveling at 65 miles per hour, the passengers enter a state of terminal conversational paralysis.
Upon finally pulling into the corporate parking lot, Hemlock reportedly turned off the ignition, unbuckled his seatbelt, and warned the exhausted passengers that he was pretty sure there was a second part of the dream about a beige stapler that he would try to remember for the drive home.