The billionaire entrepreneur suffered a fatal systemic failure while trying to assure the Almighty that he was investigating a concerning post.
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, 53, died late Tuesday evening after suffering a catastrophic neural short-circuit while attempting to reply "Looking into this" to God. Musk, who bravely survived a 2018 SEC settlement and several tense minutes on stage with a shattered truck window, held the global record for most consecutive hours spent agreeing with anonymous accounts featuring Roman statue avatars.
He left us doing what he loved most: acknowledging a vaguely concerning cosmic reality without committing to any actual follow-up.
He is survived by 11 children, six moderately profitable aerospace contracts, and a large angular vehicle currently rusting in a driveway in Boca Chica. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that mourners pay eight dollars to have their condolences boosted to the top of the memorial timeline.