The four-year-old scavenger passed away early Tuesday after hitting a flawless, sustained pitch that perfectly resonated through the Bedford limestone basin.
BEDFORD, Ind. — A feral coyote, 4, died suddenly early Tuesday morning after achieving absolute acoustic perfection while howling into an abandoned limestone quarry.
Born in a drainage ditch behind a Target, the coyote rose to prominence in the regional scavenger community for his unmatched ability to unlatch residential compost bins. Over his four-year career, he set neighborhood records for sustained eye contact with indoor cats and successfully navigated the treacherous median of State Road 37 over 400 times without injury. But his true passion remained nocturnal choral work.
He finally found the exact resonant frequency of the Bedford limestone basin, and once he hit that flawless pitch, his earthly vessel simply had nothing left to give.
He is survived by three mates, 34 mostly estranged pups, and a partially buried raccoon carcass. Memorial screeching will be held at 3:00 a.m. outside the bedroom window of a light sleeper.