The 160-pound ungulate was a pillar of the local woodland community, renowned for his unyielding stoicism in the face of heavy machinery.
MAPLEWOOD, N.J. — A majestic white-tailed buck, 4, died Tuesday morning after bravely holding his ground against a westbound NJ Transit commuter train.
A pillar of the local woodland community, the 160-pound ungulate was widely respected for his unyielding stoicism. He survived two harsh winters, a near-miss with a municipal snowplow, and the sudden clearing of the Elm Street community gardens. He held the county record for maintaining unbroken eye contact with terrified motorists, famously refusing to yield the center line of Valley Street for 45 minutes last November while chewing a single hosta leaf.
He never compromised his principles or stepped aside for anything larger than himself, right up to the very end.
He is survived by three does, 14 unacknowledged fawns, and half a masticated rhododendron bush. Services will be held at the edge of the tree line just after dusk.