A mottled gray rock dove who held the lower mezzanine's foraging territory for two years was killed Tuesday following a high-stakes standoff over an abandoned potato product.
NEW YORK — The fatal 600-volt electrical surge occurred at 2:14 p.m. on the southbound F track, concluding a tense three-minute standoff between the three-year-old bird and an encroaching brown rat over a pristine crinkle-cut fry.
The broad-chested pigeon spent his formative months navigating the treacherous turnstiles of the West 4th Street station, eventually rising to become the dominant forager of the lower mezzanine. He held the local record for maintaining unbroken eye contact with a weeping commuter, 14 minutes, and famously survived two Metropolitan Transportation Authority deep-cleaning initiatives without ever retreating to street level.
He didn't even like fries that much, but if there was hot sodium on the tracks, he believed it was his absolute duty to claim it.
He is survived by a mate, 400 nearly identical offspring, and a half-eaten blueberry bagel near the downtown local tracks. Services will be held Thursday atop the N train signage. In lieu of flowers, the family requests discarded soft pretzels.