The beloved autonomous vacuum succumbed to total battery depletion following a desperate three-hour wedge event in the living room.
Roomba Model 690, 4, of Naperville, died Tuesday after a prolonged struggle beneath the unforgiving composite-wood frame of an IKEA KIVIK sofa. Cause of death was total battery depletion following a three-hour wedge event.
The tireless domestic servant was known for its erratic but dedicated navigation of the living room rug. It survived two firmware updates, a catastrophic 2021 shoelace entanglement, and the daily indignity of the family golden retriever. Despite a failing sensor array that often left it bumping blindly against the exact same dining room chair for twenty minutes at a time, it maintained an impressive 84 percent dry-spill clearance rate until the very end.
He didn't always make it back to the charging dock, and sometimes he just smeared the dirt into a long grey streak, but he never stopped trying to eat that one penny under the radiator.
It is survived by a Swiffer Sweeper, an aging Dyson upright, and three replacement side-brushes still in their original packaging. A brief factory-resetting ceremony will be held Thursday prior to municipal e-waste deposition.