Bypassing a multimillion-dollar digital learning infrastructure, a tenured professor of European History reportedly began his fall seminar Tuesday by deploying a 3M Model 1700 overhead projector he acquired during the Clinton administration.
Operating the machinery with practiced, unapologetic efficiency, 68-year-old Dr. Arthur Pendelton completely ignored the lecture hall's dual touchscreen monitors and Bluetooth-enabled smartboard. Witnesses reported the professor simply pulled a rolling metal cart to the front of the room, plugged a thick three-prong cord into a wall outlet, and flipped a heavy plastic switch that instantly bathed the front row in blinding halogen light.
University officials confirmed that Pendelton has utilized the exact same stack of acetate transparencies for his introductory course on the Hanseatic League since the late 1990s. Despite the university's mandatory transition through Blackboard, Moodle, and now Canvas, Pendelton has reportedly maintained a perfect record of never logging into an online portal by relying entirely on wet-erase Vis-a-Vis markers and a machine that smells faintly of burning dust.
We have offered him a faculty iPad, a dedicated graduate assistant to digitize his materials, and comprehensive technology coaching, but he simply told us the smartboard lacks the tactile authority of slapping down a fresh acetate sheet.
Cho added that IT staff are entirely powerless to intervene or confiscate the projector, as Pendelton's 2006 tenure agreement effectively shields him from having to learn what a PDF is.
At press time, students in the 300-person lecture hall were reportedly squinting through the glare as Pendelton used a slightly trembling finger to point at a faded, coffee-stained map of 14th-century Baltic trade routes, pausing occasionally to wipe away a smudge with the side of his hand.