The brief, storied life of the local insect ended Tuesday in a blinding flash of Philips incandescent glory.
Unnamed Moth, 1, died Tuesday in Bexley, Ohio, after succumbing to the searing, eternal majesty of a 60-watt Philips incandescent porch bulb.
During his brief but storied life, Moth achieved local renown for successfully navigating a torn patio screen and spending three days vibrating intensely against a living room ceiling fan. He held the neighborhood record for most consecutive headbutts against a frosted glass fixture, valiantly refusing to let a rolled-up magazine deter him from the holy radiance.
He died doing exactly what he loved, slamming his tiny body repeatedly into a scorching piece of glass while ignoring the perfectly good darkness behind him. We should all be so lucky to find a calling like that.
Moth is survived by 4,000 identical siblings, an irreparably damaged wool cardigan, and a fine, powdery smear on the aluminum siding. Memorial services were conducted Wednesday morning via a swift sweep of a plastic broom.