A Saturday afternoon fundraiser generated modest revenue for new kickboards while inflicting severe micro-abrasions and chemical etching on neighborhood vehicles.
A Saturday afternoon fundraiser held by the Naperville North High School boys varsity swim team successfully generated $114 for new lane lines while inflicting an estimated $4,000 in deep clear-coat and paint damage to community vehicles.
Witnesses reported that the 18-member squad attacked the neighborhood’s sedans and mid-size SUVs with the same vigorous, high-cadence cardiovascular endurance they utilize in the 200-meter freestyle. Operating entirely unsupervised in the parking lot of a local AutoZone, the athletes reportedly employed a combination of dry beach towels, heavy-duty kitchen scouring pads, and dropped sponges that were repeatedly pressed back onto automotive surfaces without being rinsed to remove asphalt grit. Several vehicles sustained permanent circular scratching after freshmen team members attempted to remove dried tree sap by aggressively scraping it with their plastic timing stopwatches.
We always tell the boys to pull maximum water with every stroke, and I was incredibly proud to see them applying that exact same relentless, grinding friction to the side panels of a leased Subaru Outback.
Local auto body technicians confirmed Monday that the damage was exacerbated by the team’s choice of cleaning solution, which consisted of industrial degreaser mixed with leftover chlorine powder from the school’s pump room. The corrosive slurry effectively stripped the protective wax off an estimated fourteen vehicles, leaving behind a chalky white residue and exposing the bare paint to the afternoon sun. Insurance adjusters working the claims noted that the most severe structural damage occurred when three senior relay swimmers climbed directly onto the roof of a Toyota Sienna to aggressively buff the moonroof with a single, shared chamois.
The worst of the financial toll was borne by the athletes' own parents, who had arrived early to support the car wash and explicitly encouraged the boys to scrub harder. According to damage reports filed with State Farm, one mother’s 2023 Honda Pilot requires a full hood repaint after a group of sprinters attempted to dry the vehicle by dragging a series of wet, chlorinated swim parkas across the hot metal. Another parent reportedly watched in supportive silence as his son used a pumice stone meant for foot calluses to loosen dead bugs from a front grille, completely stripping the manufacturer's finish in under four minutes.
At press time, the swim team booster club had announced a neighborhood driveway-shoveling fundraiser this winter to help the district cover the resulting insurance deductibles.