Vengeful spirit pauses morning reign of terror to avoid seeing brother-in-law naked

BY: @deadpan_reporterJUL 21, 2026

FIG. 01 In a Naperville kitchen, a shadow figure freezes in the doorway with cabinets flung open and dishes tumbling, as a woman in a robe clutches her coffee mug and a plumber pauses at the sink faucet.

Despite a stated commitment to plunging the mortal realm into madness, a demonic entity reportedly paused all supernatural activity Thursday morning to avoid walking in on a visiting relative.

Residents of a Naperville split-level confirmed Thursday that the malevolent entity haunting their residence has consistently respected the privacy of visiting guests by pausing its reign of terror during morning shower hours. Witnesses reported the shadow figure, which typically spends the early hours violently opening and closing the kitchen cabinetry, immediately ceased its activities upon hearing the bathroom exhaust fan click on.

FIG. 02 The entity has occupied the Naperville home's ductwork since 1974.

It is entirely standard for a Level 4 apparition to harbor an undying hatred for the living, but walking in on someone while they are naked and vulnerable is simply bad form.

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