A local resident who purchased a vintage food storage container at a weekend garage sale reported Tuesday that the item will not secure her leftover baked ziti until a living toll is paid.
Megan Kelleher, 34, purchased the lightly scuffed, opaque green bowl for fifty cents, intending to use it for weekday meal prep. According to Kelleher, upon pressing the center of the lid to burp the air out, the plastic receptacle immediately popped open, turned the kitchen lights red, and projected a telepathic demand for a crimson offering to guarantee lasting freshness.
Attempts to bypass the bowl's security measures have thus far proven unsuccessful. When Kelleher tried substituting a splash of leftover marinara sauce as a decoy, the container reportedly vibrated violently and ejected the ziti across the kitchen island, subsequently whispering that the dark lords of the pantry cannot be deceived by tomato paste.
I specifically put a piece of masking tape on that bowl warning that it needs to be fed before it will hold a stew, but buyers never read the labels.
Seeking an alternative, Kelleher considered transferring the pasta to a piece of aluminum foil, but noted that the cursed vessel was the only clean container she had left that was appropriately sized for two portions. She added that while the prospect of binding her soul to an ancient Mesopotamian hunger demon was inconvenient, she really needed something microwave-safe for her lunch break on Wednesday and did not want to run the dishwasher for a single piece of Pyrex.
At press time, Kelleher had reportedly sighed, sterilized a sewing needle, and offered a minor flesh wound to the bowl, which instantly locked with a satisfying snap and kept the pasta perfectly insulated for three days.