The Oak Park resident passed away after discovering the kitchen utility drawer contained only two dull pairs of children's safety scissors.
OAK PARK, Ill. — Carol Higgins, 62, died Tuesday evening of a massive cardiac event while frantically tearing through her home in search of the good pair of scissors.
A retired claims adjuster, Higgins had successfully shielded her prized eight-inch titanium Fiskars from her family for more than three decades. Paramedics report she collapsed upon discovering the utility drawer contained only two rusted craft scissors, a dried tube of superglue, and a broken tape dispenser. A towering domestic figure, Higgins survived two grueling kitchen remodels and held the neighborhood record for returning borrowed Tupperware within 48 hours.
We all knew the orange-handled ones were for fabric only, and the sudden realization that someone used them to open a blister pack of batteries was simply more than her heart could bear.
She is survived by her husband, two adult children, and a tangled mass of cheap shears at the bottom of a desk drawer that fold paper rather than cut it. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that mourners put things back exactly where they found them.