The Department of Homeland Security announced a nationwide expansion of expedited removal protocols, effectively turning the entire interior of the United States into a border zone. According to officials, the directive simply requires individuals to carry twenty-four months of continuous residency documentation at all times to avoid immediate deportation without a hearing.
Homeland Security adviser Stephen Miller confirmed Friday that the administration will expand expedited removal, a policy previously restricted to within 100 miles of the border, to apply nationwide. Under the new directive, which relies on the administrative presumption that legally present residents naturally carry two years of physical utility bills and lease agreements while walking to the grocery store, federal agents can bypass the immigration court system entirely.
The policy is clear and the burden of proof is entirely reasonable. If you cannot produce the paperwork on the spot, you are removed on the spot, which is why we highly recommend that people laminate their tax returns and strap them securely to their bodies before leaving the house.
Sources familiar with the matter noted the policy is expected to drastically reduce court backlogs by eliminating the right to a judicial review altogether. The administration has reportedly begun advising local law enforcement to accept residential water bills during sudden roadside inspections, provided the individual is carrying the required two dozen consecutive monthly statements and the ink remains clearly legible.