With the national grid suffering a complete collapse, the Cuban president welcomed American intelligence officials to Havana to negotiate the geopolitical terms of a functional diesel generator.
HAVANA — The ceiling fans in the Palace of the Revolution hung perfectly still on Thursday morning, casting long, useless shadows over a mahogany table slick with tropical condensation. Outside, the Malecón was quiet, save for the occasional sputter of a pre-embargo engine running on fumes. Inside, Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canel leaned across an ornate, unlit room to ask CIA Director John Ratcliffe if the American delegation had remembered to pack a portable power bank.
The unprecedented meeting between the head of the communist state and the director of the agency that spent the better part of the twentieth century trying to poison his predecessor’s diving suit was marked by a tense, pragmatic silence. With Cuba’s national grid suffering a complete collapse and fuel reserves exhausted, the geopolitical calculus of the Cold War has been quietly replaced by the immediate need for a functional diesel carburetor.
Ratcliffe, whose intelligence brief reportedly contained satellite imagery of darkened substations, sat across the table adjusting his cuffs in the stifling heat. The US delegation brought diplomatic cables; the Cuban state apparatus, it appeared, was primarily interested in copper ones.
We remain fiercely committed to the sovereignty of the Cuban people and the triumph of the socialist vanguard, but we are willing to temporarily table our critique of American hegemony if Mr. Ratcliffe has a pair of jumper cables in his motorcade.
By early afternoon, the historic summit had transitioned from discussions of bilateral sanctions to a localized dispute over whether a standard 120-volt American outlet adapter would safely step down the voltage for the palace's remaining operational water pump. The talks concluded shortly before dusk, at which point the visiting intelligence chief was forced to illuminate the diplomatic signing ceremony with the flashlight app on his government-issued smartphone.