According to recent polling data, the American electorate has finally bridged the partisan divide, united by a profound, shared resentment of windowless concrete rectangles that consume the energy equivalent of a medium-sized city. Political strategists on both sides of the aisle report that voters are setting aside their ideological differences to focus entirely on the low-frequency humming emanating from local Amazon Web Services facilities.
In battleground states, candidates who previously clashed over taxation and social policy are now running on identical platforms consisting entirely of promises to unplug massive cooling fans. According to officials familiar with internal party polling, a staggering ninety-two percent of likely voters across all demographics agreed that the sprawling Google Cloud infrastructure currently draining their local municipal aquifer is a bipartisan threat to their sanity.
The only thing holding this fragile republic together right now is the collective realization that we are all losing our drinking water so a server rack in Ohio can generate images of dogs riding skateboards.
Congressional aides report that a joint resolution to stand outside a Meta data center and yell at the exhaust vents is expected to pass both chambers with unanimous consent. Sources familiar with the matter indicated that the President plans to sign the legislation immediately, provided the regional power grid does not collapse before the ceremony.