In a rare display of bipartisan consensus, the House of Representatives voted on Tuesday to permanently eradicate sunlight before 8:00 a.m. between the months of November and March.
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan consensus, the House of Representatives voted on Tuesday to permanently eradicate sunlight before 8:00 a.m. between the months of November and March.
The measure, which sailed through the lower chamber 332-95, would establish permanent Daylight Saving Time across the United States, effectively ensuring that millions of schoolchildren will wait for the bus in pitch blackness while lawmakers enjoy slightly more ambient lighting during their evening commutes. The legislation now moves to the Senate, where aides indicate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer is prepared to let the concept of time languish in committee.
"This is a historic victory for the American people, who have clearly signaled they would rather suffer six months of circadian disruption than spend three minutes deciphering the dashboard clock in a 2014 Honda Civic," a senior Republican leadership aide told reporters on background, noting that the caucus had spent weeks whipping votes to assert federal jurisdiction over the Earth's axial tilt.
While the bill enjoyed broad support from retail lobbyists and the golf industry, a vocal minority of lawmakers objected to the sweeping temporal reforms. Several dissenting members circulated memos warning that permanently altering the national timeline could alienate key morning constituencies, though those concerns were largely overridden by a bipartisan desire to pass a single piece of legislation that does not immediately result in a government shutdown.
We have finally delivered on our promise to legislate the sun into submission, sending a clear message that Congress dictates when it gets dark.
Senate leadership has remained noncommittal on whether they will take up the measure before the current session ends. According to two staffers familiar with internal deliberations, the upper chamber is currently drafting a rival omnibus package that would compromise by simply eliminating the month of February.