The Department of Defense has initiated a comprehensive structural rollback of the nation's newest supercarriers, ensuring the fleet aligns with President Donald Trump’s preference for authentic World War II-era naval architecture.
According to a 400-page procurement memo circulated to defense contractors on background, Huntington Ingalls Industries has been tasked with removing the electromagnetic aircraft launch systems from three Ford-class vessels currently under construction. In their place, shipbuilders will install steam catapults, rivet-heavy steel plating, and untreated wooden flight decks designed to look tremendous in black-and-white newsreels, according to a senior aide familiar with the president’s talking points.
We are fully committed to projecting American naval dominance exactly as the commander-in-chief remembers it from afternoon cable television.
The Office of Naval Intelligence walked back previous assessments regarding the necessity of Aegis combat systems, noting that the new requirement for crew members to manually crank anti-aircraft flak cannons would significantly boost the optics of American maritime readiness. Defense contractor Lockheed Martin saw shares surge Tuesday after announcing a lucrative sole-source contract to manufacture authentic, unguided 1944-era torpedoes that must be loaded by pulleys.
On Capitol Hill, the caucus largely fell in line behind the initiative, with the Senate Armed Services Committee quietly approving an emergency supplemental authorization to replace the fleet's digital radar arrays with a nineteen-year-old sailor in a crow's nest holding brass binoculars.