While an agreement in principle has been reached to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, officials from both nations confirmed Friday that the mutual bombardment will continue until Tuesday due to administrative delays.
GENEVA — Officials from the United States and Iran have reached an agreement in principle to end the current conflict, but confirmed Friday that the exchange of ballistic missiles and naval artillery will continue through the weekend while the final peace treaty undergoes standard legal review.
Outside the Beau-Rivage hotel, where the talks have dragged into their third week, the crisp autumn air smelled faintly of roasting chestnuts and the exhaust of idling diplomatic motorcades. Inside, exhausted negotiators acknowledged that while the disposal of highly enriched uranium and the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz are fully settled, the actual cessation of mass casualties simply cannot be rushed through the system before Monday morning.
We have a comprehensive framework to end this terrible bloodshed, but unfortunately, the shared document is currently locked for editing and our lead compliance officer is on annual leave until Tuesday.
The delay means that commercial shipping in the Strait of Hormuz will remain suspended, and strategic airstrikes will proceed strictly according to the pre-peace schedule. Iranian delegates noted that their uranium centrifuges would continue spinning until the exact phrasing of the English translation was verified by a certified notary, a process expected to cost an additional four to six thousand lives and roughly three billion dollars in infrastructure damage.
By late afternoon, the delegations had retired to the hotel bar to share plates of locally sourced charcuterie, expressing mutual relief that the war was practically over, save for a few days of obligatory localized destruction while the printer on the fourth floor was repaired.