The world's most vital maritime chokepoint is now perfectly secure, military officials confirmed, as absolutely no trade is currently permitted to pass through it.
MUSANDAM PENINSULA, Oman — The water in the Strait of Hormuz is the color of old turquoise, glassy and perfectly still. The usual scent of heavy bunker fuel has been replaced by the faint, dry smell of desert dust blowing off the Iranian coast, entirely undisturbed by the wake of passing supertankers.
For the fifth consecutive day, the world’s most critical maritime chokepoint remains unconditionally secure.
The United States Fifth Fleet, tasked with maintaining freedom of navigation through the 21-mile-wide narrows, reported Tuesday that it had successfully intercepted and turned back every single commercial vessel attempting to navigate the waterway.
At the nearby port of Khasab, local smuggler Tariq al-Farsi sat on the deck of his wooden dhow, drinking a lukewarm Mirinda orange soda. He adjusted the tarp over a shipment of counterfeit electronics that will not reach Bandar Abbas this week. He noted the quiet was good for the local seabirds.
The threat of hostile action has been entirely neutralized by our proactive measure of ensuring there is absolutely nothing out here to attack.
On the northern shore, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps Navy has adopted a similarly flawless doctrine. Fast-attack craft armed with anti-ship missiles patrol the empty expanse, effectively deterring any vessel that the U.S. Navy has not already ordered to drop anchor in the Gulf of Oman.
The result is a beautifully executed, bilateral void. Neither side has lost a single merchant ship to the other's hostility, primarily because the global supply chain has been indefinitely parked 400 miles away.
Lloyd’s of London has suspended all maritime insurance premiums for the corridor. Underwriters in London noted that the risk of a ship being struck by a torpedo is statistically zero when all 4,000 regional cargo vessels are currently idling off the coast of Fujairah, their crews drinking instant coffee and waiting for the geopolitical order to resolve.
Through binoculars from the rocky cliffs of Musandam, one can see the grey hull of the USS Mason cutting a solitary white line through the pristine water. It is diligently protecting the global economy from the dangers of global trade.