International health officials battling a rare strain of the Ebola virus have issued a statement of profound gratitude to local insurgent groups. Epidemiologists note the militias' unpredictable artillery barrages have inadvertently eliminated all civilian travel, creating a perfect epidemiological containment zone.
GOMA, Democratic Republic of Congo — The morning rain off Lake Kivu smells faintly of sulfur and counterfeit diesel. Inside a damp canvas tent, international epidemiologists sip lukewarm Fanta Orange and trace transmission vectors on a map dictated entirely by the threat of roadside ambushes. The latest outbreak of a rare Ebola strain has officially plateaued, largely because the region's active combatants have made walking to a neighboring village an act of suicidal madness.
The intersection of a highly infectious hemorrhagic fever and a multi-factional proxy war has produced what global health officials are quietly calling a logistical triumph. With the Allied Democratic Forces and the M23 rebel group heavily mining the primary thoroughfares out of the province, the virus has found itself entirely unable to secure transport to new host populations.
The virus requires close human-to-human contact, which is exceedingly difficult when the local population is sheltering in root cellars to avoid stray 120mm mortar shells.
Medical teams have long cited the difficulty of stopping outbreaks in conflict zones, pointing to the impossibility of maintaining cold-chain vaccine storage. However, responders now admit that having heavily armed teenagers demand cartons of cigarettes at makeshift roadblocks has proven far more effective at restricting civilian movement than any public health campaign ever could.
Villet added that the Ebola virus, long considered one of the deadliest pathogens on earth, is currently ranking as only the fourth or fifth most immediate threat to the average North Kivu resident, placing it comfortably between cholera and being conscripted by a passing militia.