The Chinese president arrived in Pyongyang to top off the regime's subsidized oil reserves and check its structural integrity. The two-day state visit ensures the volatile nation remains just functional enough to separate Beijing from American forces in South Korea.
PYONGYANG — Chinese President Xi Jinping touched down in the North Korean capital on Thursday to perform scheduled preventative maintenance on Beijing's primary geopolitical buffer state.
Low, gray clouds hung over Sunan International Airport, casting a flat light across the cracked concrete of the runway. In the receiving line, the smell of damp wool from the honor guard's coats mingled with the sharp scent of the subsidized diesel fuel powering the waiting motorcade.
The two-day state visit, the first by a Chinese paramount leader in 14 years, largely consists of auditing Pyongyang's stability, tightening any loose anti-Western rhetoric, and ensuring the heavily sanctioned nation remains securely wedged between the People's Liberation Army and American forces stationed in South Korea.
Diplomatic sources confirmed that the delegation arrived carrying a ledger of outstanding structural issues, noting that Pyongyang's recent aggressive posturing had begun to rattle the regional chassis.
It is much like owning an older, highly temperamental vehicle that occasionally threatens to annihilate the entire neighborhood. You cannot simply leave it in the yard to rust.
According to official itineraries, Xi spent Thursday morning walking the perimeter of the Kim regime. The Chinese delegation was observed visually inspecting a Hwasong-15 intercontinental ballistic missile, checking the alignment of the Workers' Party apparatus, and topping off the country's strategic reserves with 500,000 tons of crude oil to prevent the local economy from seizing up before winter.
By dusk, the diagnostic checks were complete. Xi is expected to return to Beijing on Friday morning, having reportedly handed Chairman Kim Jong Un an itemized receipt for his continued existence.