The Ukrainian president signaled a major breakthrough in bilateral relations on Thursday after hosting the rightwing internet provocateur for a crucial round of diplomatic talks in Kyiv.
Aides to Volodymyr Zelenskyy confirmed that the administration has completely abandoned traditional State Department backchannels, recognizing that the immediate fate of the Ukrainian war effort now rests entirely on the geopolitical whims of a woman who previously handcuffed herself to the doors of a tech headquarters.
According to a readout of the summit provided by sources close to leadership, the two leaders spent three hours discussing the impending Russian sanctions bill, the deployment of tactical munitions, and the overarching framework of the globalist lizard cabal, before agreeing to a tentative timeline for President Donald Trump’s upcoming meetings in Washington.
We have completely restructured our diplomatic corps to acknowledge that the geopolitical fate of Eastern Europe is currently adjudicated via the replies of a previously banned Twitter account.
The pivot in strategy comes as Zelenskyy prepares to travel to Washington to attend the funeral of Senator Lindsey Graham, where he is expected to formally finalize the bilateral defense pact by appearing on Loomer’s livestream to endorse a line of tactical brain supplements.
Back on Capitol Hill, the caucus appeared to immediately fall in line with the new international directive. Several senior aides were seen frantically deleting months of pro-Kremlin talking points the moment Loomer published a selfie from the Mariinskyi Palace, with one foreign relations staffer noting on background that the United States government will now support whichever sovereign nation the podcaster visited most recently.