The Old Trafford club is reportedly preparing a massive bid for the Chelsea star, promising the 22-year-old a lucrative environment entirely insulated from the pressures of title contention.
MANCHESTER, England — Following a breakout season at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea midfielder Cole Palmer is reportedly the primary target of a massive summer transfer bid from Manchester United, who are pitching the 22-year-old on a unique, nine-figure opportunity to permanently halt his development as a footballer.
Sources close to the Old Trafford club indicate that the INEOS ownership group is preparing a £100 million package for the England international. The transfer pitch heavily emphasizes United’s recent success in acquiring Europe’s most dynamic young players and seamlessly transitioning them into confused, static figures who occasionally point at overlapping fullbacks.
Cole has had an exhausting year carrying Chelsea’s attack, and we believe Old Trafford is the perfect place for him to finally rest.
In addition to Palmer, United is also reportedly targeting Arsenal’s 18-year-old left back Myles Lewis-Skelly. The club hopes to lure the teenager away from Mikel Arteta’s rigorous title-chasing squad by offering him an immediate starting role in a defensive unit that requires absolutely no positional awareness.
Representatives for Palmer have not yet commented on the prospective move. However, industry analysts note that Chelsea’s Clearlake Capital ownership is highly motivated to sell their best player, as the £100 million fee would allow the club to comply with Premier League Profitability and Sustainability Rules while immediately purchasing six untested 14-year-old South American wingers on guaranteed 12-year contracts.
United returns to action on Sunday, where the club's current £85 million attacking signings will continue their ongoing project of crossing the ball directly into the first row of the Stretford End.