Ravenna FC has officially announced the signing of 46-year-old Brazilian legend Ronaldinho, confirming the Serie C squad will abandon all traditional match objectives until the forward secures his milestone goal.
The Italian third-tier club introduced their new designated target man on Tuesday, unveiling a revised tactical playbook designed entirely around finding a way to bounce a regulation match ball off the stationary veteran and past an opposing goalkeeper.
According to the front office, the franchise has suspended its pursuit of league promotion to implement a specialized 0-0-10 formation. The system fit relies on the remaining roster sprinting frantically around the final third to win corner kicks while Ronaldinho waits motionless near the penalty spot, conserving his physical load for the eventual post-goal celebration.
Our analytics indicate that if we drill 400 crosses a match at his general vicinity, one is statistically guaranteed to deflect off his shin and cross the line so we can all go home.
League officials have reportedly signed off on the arrangement, noting that the Brazilian's contract includes a strict minutes restriction and an explicit clause forbidding him from breaking into a jog. Ravenna ownership justified the acquisition as a massive boost to regional ticket sales, confirming that the medical staff will simply position the two-time FIFA World Player of the Year in the six-yard box during set pieces and retrieve him once the whistle blows.
The club currently sits 14th in the Serie C standings, a position management views as an acceptable casualty of the 300-goal project.