The Sydney Swans announced Tuesday that they have suspended five players for breaching club standards, while issuing a formal commendation to the rest of the front office for successfully scrambling out of a Melbourne hotel room before they could be identified.
Coach Dean Cox addressed the media following the decision to stand down stars Isaac Heeney, Nick Blakey, Chad Warner, Riley Bice, and James Jordon for the remainder of the season. Acknowledging that “a culture isn’t perfect,” Cox noted the club was nevertheless proud of the veteran intangibles displayed by the senior coaching staff, who reportedly executed a flawless tactical retreat down a fire escape the moment a noise complaint was filed.
The five players were disciplined for drinking and staying out late following Sunday’s victory over Essendon. An exhaustive internal review confirmed that absolutely no other club representatives were present, a conclusion investigators reached immediately after realizing that suspending a sixth person would require the board of directors to forfeit their upcoming golf retreat to King Island.
We are deeply disappointed in the five young men who lacked the situational awareness to locate the service elevator when upper management yelled 'scatter.'
AFL officials have signaled they will not pursue further action, satisfied that the club has adequately addressed the distraction internally. Cox is scheduled to hold a follow-up press conference on Thursday once the team finishes wiping the head of player development's fingerprints off the minibar.