The e-commerce giant has linked a corporate debit card directly to the regulatory agency to seamlessly clear upcoming legal hurdles.
SEATTLE — E-commerce giant Amazon.com Inc. announced Tuesday that it has proactively enabled 1-Click payment on its corporate account to seamlessly clear billions of dollars in impending Federal Trade Commission penalties without disrupting its routine deception of advertisers.
The regulatory agency is reportedly preparing a massive lawsuit alleging the tech behemoth systemically misled corporate partners about ad placement and performance metrics. Rather than contest the charges or alter its business model, Amazon representatives confirmed the company has securely linked a corporate routing number to the FTC's enforcement division, authorizing automatic withdrawals of up to $5 billion to resolve the issue instantly.
By setting up auto-pay for our federal judgments, we ensure our ad sales teams never have to endure a lapse in deceptive practices just because of a little legal friction.
Vaught noted that treating the multi-billion dollar civil penalties as a standard monthly operating expense allows the company to focus its engineering resources on designing entirely new ways to overcharge third-party sellers. He added that the 1-Click infrastructure will save Amazon's legal department thousands of hours previously wasted on drafting statements pretending to respect federal trade guidelines.
At press time, Amazon accountants were reportedly contacting the FTC to ask if the company could secure a five percent Subscribe & Save discount on the penalties by committing to defraud advertisers on a recurring monthly schedule.