Speaking in Boston on Tuesday, Block Business Lead Owen Jennings confirmed that everyday Americans are still out there swiping their cards with a beautiful, unearned confidence.
BOSTON — During an appearance at the JPMorgan Global Technology, Media and Communications Conference, Block Business Lead Owen Jennings confirmed Tuesday that consumer spending remains "resilient," noting that the American public has successfully maintained its commitment to ignoring all available macroeconomic reality.
Jennings told Bloomberg Television’s Lisa Abramowicz that despite persistent inflation, elevated interest rates, and a volatile housing market, the payments company’s data shows a populace that has simply decided to stop worrying about the consequences of tapping a glowing white piece of plastic for a $14 sandwich.
According to the executive, the internal metrics at Block—the parent company of Square and Cash App—indicate that transaction velocity has barely slowed, buoyed entirely by a working class that has collectively chosen to vibrate at a frequency of pure financial delusion.
When we look at the transaction volumes across our Square terminals, what we are seeing is a truly inspiring level of denial.
Analysts at the Boston conference responded positively to the briefing, agreeing that the broader tech and retail sectors will remain stable as long as millions of consumers remain too terrified to actually log into their mobile banking apps and check their balances.
Following Jennings' panel, Block’s stock saw a modest 2% bump upon the revelation that a significant portion of the company's Q2 revenue was powered exclusively by people muttering, "I'll just figure it out on Friday," before authorizing a payment.