The Brooklyn-based producer confirmed Tuesday that no new tracks will be released until engineers can replicate the satisfying, thumb-destroying clicks of a 15-year-old smartphone.
Despite a globally successful touring schedule and collaborations with the RZA and James Blake, Flatbush Zombies producer Erick the Architect announced Tuesday he is indefinitely suspending all studio sessions. The artist cited an unbridgeable creative void left by the discontinuation of the BlackBerry Bold 9900, noting that modern glass touchscreens lack the foundational physical friction required to produce hardcore hip-hop beats.
According to a statement released by his management, the producer has abandoned his current studio equipment entirely. The artist explained that the smooth, responsive glass of an iPhone simply cannot produce the raw, calloused energy generated by aggressively mashing a microscopic plastic QWERTY layout with the sides of his thumbs.
You simply cannot lay down a raw, aggressive verse when your device politely auto-corrects your spelling instead of forcing you to physically fight the hardware for every single keystroke.
A leaked memo from the group's studio revealed that all upcoming sessions with hardcore punk band Trash Talk have been officially cancelled. The document outlined a new creative roadmap, mandating that no music will be recorded until Apple or Google engineers can successfully replicate the specific, agonizing thumb cramps of a 2010 mobile operating system.
The producer reportedly spent the weekend returning $40,000 worth of state-of-the-art studio touchpads to various retailers. At press time, he was seen repeatedly stabbing his thumbs into a sheet of industrial bubble wrap in a desperate attempt to stimulate his creative workflow.