A local marketing coordinator spent the entirety of a Tuesday morning video conference making unbroken eye contact with his own self-view window, colleagues confirmed today.
David Hilliard, 34, reportedly ignored the shared quarterly revenue deck in favor of subtly adjusting his seating position and monitoring how the morning light caught his cheekbones. Meeting participants noted that Hilliard’s gaze remained firmly anchored to a small, floating rectangle in the top right corner of his monitor, where he occasionally tilted his chin to evaluate his profile before returning to a neutral resting expression.
When the discussion shifted to upcoming budget restrictions, Hilliard was seen lightly touching his left eyebrow and shifting his desk lamp two inches to the right to eliminate a minor shadow across his forehead.
He offered a very serious, slow nod when we talked about the Q3 deficit, but it was incredibly obvious he was just checking to see if nodding made his neck look weird.
Hilliard briefly disabled his video feed at 10:14 a.m. when asked a direct question about vendor contracts, citing a sudden drop in internet bandwidth in the text chat. He re-enabled the camera less than two minutes later, appearing with freshly combed hair and a slightly more ergonomic chair angle.
As the host concluded the call and participants began logging off, Hilliard was observed lingering in the otherwise empty digital meeting room for an additional forty seconds to practice a spontaneous, approachable smile.