In a bid to manage unprecedented market interest, OpenAI Chief Financial Officer Sarah Friar announced Tuesday that the company is outfitting all enterprise partners with specialized climbing gear. The move comes after Friar confirmed a "vertical wall of demand" for the company's artificial intelligence products has rendered traditional purchasing methods physically impossible.
OpenAI has reportedly partnered with outdoor retailer REI to supply chalk bags, crampons, and reinforced safety harnesses to Fortune 500 executives attempting to secure API access. According to Friar, the sheer perpendicularity of the market enthusiasm means standard procurement software is no longer sufficient. Buyers must now free-solo a ninety-degree face of sheer corporate necessity just to reach the ChatGPT Plus tier.
We lost three regional sales directors to altitude sickness last week, but the enterprise latency is fantastic once you reach the summit.
Bloomberg Tech analysts noted that while the vertical wall poses significant logistical challenges, it remains highly profitable for the artificial intelligence firm. At press time, several un-tethered startup founders were seen plummeting from the upper ledges of the demand wall after failing to secure sufficient compute credits.