OpenAI Chief Financial Officer Sarah Friar addressed revenue concerns on Tuesday by highlighting a “vertical wall of demand” for the company's products. Friar clarified that the 90-degree cliff face is entirely smooth, offers no handholds, and will easily repel any enterprise client attempting to scale it.
Following reports that the artificial intelligence firm might miss internal revenue targets, Friar dismissed concerns by pointing to the sheer, impassable precipice of customer inquiries currently piling up at the base of their server infrastructure. According to internal metrics, thousands of Fortune 500 executives have already perished attempting to ascend the vertical wall to secure early API access to OpenAI's upcoming models.
We are thrilled to report that our demand is so vertical, it completely blocks out the sun and prevents any actual product delivery from ever taking place.
Friar added that once the company finishes constructing a second, even steeper wall of token-limit errors, OpenAI will be completely insulated from the burden of providing a reliable consumer service. At press time, several prominent venture capitalists were reportedly base-jumping off the top of the wall directly into a pile of burning server GPUs.