Tech investor Prosus NV announced a strategic initiative Tuesday demanding its food-delivery arm, Just Eat Takeaway.com, generate $3.6 billion in revenue by optimizing the logistics of transporting rapidly cooling meals on electric bicycles.
AMSTERDAM — Seeking to capitalize on rapid consolidation in the digital logistics sector, tech investment giant Prosus NV announced a new strategic initiative Tuesday demanding its subsidiary, Just Eat Takeaway.com, generate $3.6 billion in revenue from the physical act of pedaling rapidly cooling meals across European cities.
The ambitious "efficiency push" represents a shift in strategy for the Amsterdam-based conglomerate, which has tasked Just Eat with squeezing unprecedented corporate yields out of thousands of gig-workers navigating rush-hour traffic with insulated backpacks full of tepid tikka masala.
Prosus executives indicated that the massive revenue target is entirely achievable, provided the platform can successfully monetize the 45-minute delay between a restaurant bagging a burrito and a 19-year-old on an electric moped attempting to locate a customer's third-floor walk-up.
By leveraging recent market consolidation, we have realized we can extract over three billion dollars from the simple act of a guy named Liam leaving a damp paper bag on a porch.
Financial analysts note that the multi-billion-dollar target marks a turning point for the European food-delivery industry, which is pivoting away from its traditional model of subsidizing every €15 hamburger with €20 of venture capital.
To meet the new efficiency metrics, Just Eat is expected to implement dynamic routing algorithms that require drivers to pedal through red lights at a 12 percent higher frequency, alongside new pricing structures that will charge customers a premium to ensure their french fries are not placed directly in the path of an outward-swinging screen door.