Following his successful campaign to purge vaccine advocates from federal health agencies, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced Thursday that he will eradicate breast cancer by systematically dismantling every mammogram machine in the United States.
Kennedy, the incoming administration’s top health authority, told reporters during a press briefing that the statistical correlation between mammography usage and breast cancer diagnoses is simply too high for the federal government to ignore. As part of his first wave of policy directives, Kennedy has already fired dozens of top oncologists and preventive care specialists at the Department of Health and Human Services. The dismissals target officials who Kennedy accuses of conspiring with the medical-industrial complex to deliberately uncover malignant tumors in otherwise blissfully unaware patients, thereby enriching hospital conglomerates.
For decades, the medical establishment has aggressively pressured women to stand in front of these heavy, radiation-spewing boxes, and what happens? Millions of them are suddenly told they are sick. If we simply stop looking for the tumors, the statistical incidence of the disease drops to zero overnight. It is basic epidemiology.
The sweeping dismissals have left the mainstream medical community outraged, with thousands of doctors warning that the complete elimination of preventive screenings will reverse decades of progress in women's health. In response, the Kennedy transition team released a 400-page policy document claiming that early detection is a myth manufactured by the radiology industry to sell heavy lead aprons. The report mandates that federal health subsidies for mammograms be immediately redirected to alternative therapies, suggesting that women instead maintain cellular purity through daily sun-gazing, rigorous fasting, and applying localized compresses of unpasteurized raw milk.
The aggressive anti-screening initiative is reportedly just the initial phase of Kennedy’s broader agenda to dismantle conventional diagnostics. According to leaked internal agency memos, the newly restructured health department plans to tackle the nation's rising cardiovascular disease epidemic next month by outlawing the use of blood pressure cuffs. The transition team is also preparing a comprehensive ban on colonoscopies, a procedure Kennedy has repeatedly warned is a covert federal program designed to install tracking devices in the lower intestines of American voters.