Dismissing user complaints of software glitches, pet tech manufacturer Whisker announced Tuesday that its AI-powered Litter-Robot had not malfunctioned, but had instead correctly identified a horrifying metaphysical consciousness transfer between two household pets.
The $700 Litter-Robot 4 utilizes an array of advanced lasers and weight sensors to track individual feline bathroom habits, theoretically alerting owners to early signs of kidney disease or digestive distress. After multiple multi-cat households reported the machine was wildly confusing their pets' identities, Whisker dispatched a software telemetry team who confirmed the hardware was functioning perfectly, indicating the animals had simply completed a dark, arcane ritual to exchange corporeal forms.
Our sensors are calibrated to a fraction of an ounce, so if the app determines your six-pound tabby is suddenly depositing the biological payload of your twelve-pound Maine Coon, the only scientific conclusion is a total usurpation of the flesh.
Rather than deprecating the feature, the manufacturer confirmed it is pushing a mandatory firmware update that replaces the generic "Weight Anomaly" push notification with a high-priority "Freaky Friday Event" alert. The update also programs the physical litter box to pulse with a slow, ominous red LED ring, warning families that the entity currently burying its waste in the laundry room is no longer the pet they raised.
According to a leaked engineering memo, Whisker’s product roadmap now involves dedicating significantly more cloud compute to monitoring the demonic phenomenon at scale. At press time, customer support agents were actively advising affected users to stop trying to recalibrate the machine's scale and to avoid making direct eye contact with whichever cat currently serves as the master vessel.