White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles clarified Tuesday that the administration will refrain from choosing winners and losers in the artificial intelligence sector, promising instead to simply hand over the federal government's operational budget to the last tech corporation standing.
White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles clarified Tuesday that the administration will refrain from choosing winners and losers in the artificial intelligence sector, promising instead to simply hand over the federal government's operational budget to the last tech corporation standing.
Speaking to a gathering of Silicon Valley executives, Wiles detailed the administration’s forthcoming AI policy directives, which prioritize a completely hands-off regulatory approach. Rather than stifling innovation by selecting preferred vendors for national security and domestic infrastructure, Wiles explained that the government will step aside and allow Alphabet, Microsoft, OpenAI, and xAI to engage in a devastating, unregulated capital war until a single, unassailable entity remains.
Wiles noted that the federal government is notoriously bad at picking winners, adding that the free market is best equipped to determine which massive conglomerate should eventually control the nation's power grid. By committing to a totally neutral stance, the administration hopes to ensure that the ultimate victor earns its absolute control over American society through pure market dominance rather than bureaucratic favoritism.
If the administration were to step in now and regulate data center expansion, they might accidentally hinder the natural process of a single corporation capturing all human knowledge.
Industry lobbyists praised the decision, noting that federal neutrality is essential for fostering the kind of unchecked corporate expansion required to achieve artificial general intelligence. According to a leaked draft of the policy framework, the Department of Defense is already preparing a blank, multi-billion-dollar purchase order addressed to whichever chief executive successfully drains the most municipal water supplies to cool their servers.
At press time, Wiles confirmed the administration had also promised not to intervene when the winning algorithm eventually decides to pick the winners and losers of the human race.